unhappy day

I was dreading getting back into my route today and maybe thats why I gave up so easily but although cold it started off a bright sunny morning and I managed to feel ready and willing. But at the drop off point for my eldest to go to school I suddenly realised she didnt have her PE kit so that was problem no1 but I figured I would just have to make myself do it after my walk/run. Maybe just cut it a tiny bit shorter as going back to the school will cover the extra minutes walking. But before I even got to my starting point my youngest who had decided to get out and walk fell over and ripped a hole in her tights. Grrr! Feeling very frustrated and mad that I feel I never get to do something for myself as I gotta sort out the PE issue, sew up the tights, cut my route short and go to the shop for toilet roll. Just what is the point of me trying? Of course thats the defeatist attitude that always makes me give up on things So we will see about tomorrow but I dont think I can do mornings with the buggy and little one anymore and I dont know if I will be strong enough willpower to make myself go afternoons esp as I am feeling moody and teary and so angry at my partner at the mo for his constant broken promises and money issues!
I just want to go to bed and give up!

run before you walk?

Day five! At last a full (school) week, I thought as I set out on the morning run again with my 3yr old in the buggy once again. My muscles have been tight and achy and its so cold that I cant wait to warm up once I get to my starting point.. eager to start and knowing I can do my first markers I decide to try to go that bit extra past the end marker which ends at a road thats quiet enough I should be able to go straight across. I try to veer the buggy up a dropped kerb but it snags the edge and instead my little one almost gets thrown out but luckily doesnt but the buggy handle jabs under my rib hard. Right where I usually get my stitch. I am upset and cross and frustrated and I have to walk the next five plus minutes with the pain. I feel demoralised and at a turning where I can take a shortcut home I give in and decide to just quit. I groan and my little one pipes up "whats the matter?" Defeated I say "I can't do  it" ..................................... thats when the little voice that pipes up "yes you can" boisters my determination like magic. I steer my route back on course and pledge to at least walk the rest of the way so at least I can feel proud I did the whole course. I even manage to run some more of it. I am only a little over my normal 25 mins by the time I get back home.
I keep telling myself about how in the book it says you have good runs and bad runs. This was not a good one but I did it.Thanks to my little one.
Later that evening I read the starting steps section of the book again. Oops.. It says to walk your course for weeks to strengthen your muscles before running Im ever impatient so of course I have been trying to run it as soon as poss. No wonder my leg muscle has been playing me up! Will I walk? hell no. I will continue to do short patches of running when I feel that urge but atleast if I just walk most of it on a bad day I wont be doing bad.
Today as I write this is saturday so thanks to the kids both being home and not having a reason to leave the house I am having 'a break' day. I dread to think what monday morning will feel like!

ow day four

Today I needed to run an errand in the morning so I figured I would do my run, child and buggy free, this afternoon. I am proud to say I did! I was expecting it to be alot easier but truth be told its hard to say. True my arms are less achy being free but I dont feel they added anything to make my run easier like I expected. I also really thought I would, without the buggy, be quicker but I was still 25 mins. My right leg has been twingee still and I got a stitch before I even finished the ten min walk warm up. But I surpassed some of my markers. Which then gives less recovery time before the next one so thats prob why I might do well on one but not the next. I was so so tempted to cut it short and take a shorter route home but I am proud to say I didnt.
I think I will persevere with the morning. I dont know if its because I havent had much wake up time to waver or if its cos I am running on an empty stomach compared to afternoon or the fact once its done you have the whole day ahead of you but morning just feels that little bit better??

Day three! Does it count as on a roll yet?

So my run yesterday went well. Got a stitch but no pain in my ankle. I am finding it tricky to run with the buggy as I do feel I need to be able to move my arms freely. I was thinking about doing my course when I take my youngest to nursery so it is still at the time when I have left the house already It seems a good idea. But at the moment I dont want to change things so quickly as I am just starting to make it a daily habit. My partner is surprisingly more supportive than I expected although I think that is more because he gets to play his xbox in peace for the 25 mins I am out. I think he may therefore not mind the same 25 mins in the afternoon??
Today it was pretty cold and windy but I still made myself do it which is good. At the start I pushed myself more and beat some of my run markers but I paid for it by having to walk more and a stitch in my side yet again. But the stitch isnt too bad.
I had a drink yesterday on day 2 whereas today I didnt and I think it does make a difference to hydrate first.
After about an hours rest when I got home I went to the library which is quite a walk and when I got to do library I got twinges of pain like spasms in my right leg. Im sure its nothing and so long as I keep this up it can only get easier. I think I was out of breathe for less time when I got home too.
On my route there is a part that has a parallel path that is down a slope a little and my youngest thought she was cool to run it (her run keeps up with me walking). I thought maybe she will become a runner too from seeing me do it hahaha.
Also there is another part on my route that I could use to extend it just a little and also be more of a private route, on a cycle track which runs parallel to my now route. But again, I dont want to change things just yet. Tomorrow will be day 4 and friday day 5 so pretty good. Shame about the weekend cos my eldest doesnt like going out for 'walks' or anything. Will see what happens.

First Day 26/01/2015

Ok so its nearer the end of the month than the start but from settling the girls back into their school routine and redecorating my room, a happy achievement as it was one of my new years wishes, I had a spur of the moment decision to start my fat bitch run today. Its a small step and far from what the book describes as a starting point but I believe it is flexable to a persons needs.
So. firstly one of the things I havent got around to yet is making that leap to doing it when my youngest goes to nursery. Instead I decided to take her with me in the mornings which means pushing a buggy... But its a start.. And its a little less daunting with her company than on my own. Although I found it more difficult not being able to swing your arms when running.
Secondly I decided that I should do it straight away on the morning school run. I think if I go home with the plan to go out again I may too easily change my mind. I figure if I have to get up, dressed and brave whatever the weather is then I might as well make it the starting point.
After my eldest crosses the road to the school gate I carry on walking up to cuddeston road which I have previously calculated to be the ten minute warm up time. Then from there I do a round trip back home. Its probably not as long as the recommended route but again its a start. I found straight away I testing point for my first stretch of running. A private road that runs parallel to the main road and ends.. I ran it and was puffed out but I look forward to noticing less puffed out-ness the more I do it. Then I had to walk again to catch my breathe. On a next landmark I tried to run to a lampost and just fell short of it. Again it will be interesting how soon before I can run it without resorting back to walking or being puffed out. My daughter got out the buggy for one try at running with me! But very quickly wanted to retreat back to teh comfort of sitting down. My route maybe shorter but surely the extra weight Im pushing in the buggy is a bonus factor??
Anyways I felt a little pain in the ankle that I broke three years ago and I got a small stitch in my side so I walked it off a bit before running again. I was worried a bit about the strain on my ankle and the metal plates inside it. But I figure three years is a long time and it should be fine really.
I made several more runs then walks before getting home. Its amazing how hot you get so quickly! I had to strip off my top and sit down for a good half hour. I was surprised when I got home that the whole trip only took me about 25 minutes. Again, it will be interesting if that time lessons indicating that I am running more of it?
I also look forward to hopefully building up my confidence and determination to go out in the afternoon as I originally planned, with my arms free from the buggy to help.
I dont feel different or proud or happy about my first go today. I dont feel put off either which is good. It just feels like a very small step on what is a long long path before me and I will feel more proud of myself when I get into routine with it.

Bad turn

Yesterday I was pretty hungover and had had an argument with my partner so today I was determined to try to go out again with the kids (its the Christmas holidays) so off we set. It was really cold and very windy but I knew I would warm up through the exertion of walking so I didnt wear a coat just a jacket. I think my first mistake was deciding to run errands along the way so I had the location of the library in mind to post some books back. This meant walking boring common routes that Im all too used to that has very little scenic value. To try to extend it and help we cut through 'the duck pond' which is a vary small wooded section behind some houses where a big public pond is. I wasnt feeling the cold so much now but my 3yr old refused to walk at all so I was pushing her in the buggy the whole time. The next thing that ruined it for me was that my oldest kept nagging for the park which I find terribly boring as I cant do anything like walk around as the 3yr old wants only the swings or needs supervising on climbing things.
As soon as I gave in and stopped at the park I felt the cold twice as bad as when I first headed out. I felt peeved and disappointed and decided to go home. We had only been out a little over half an hour and walked in total about 1 mile.
Its hard to say if the weather was part to blame or the kids or perhaps both. But as the book says you are going to get bad days and I think I just have to chalk it up to a bad day. Also going on 'usual' walking routes means the kids know where the shops and parks are to nag about. Next I will try the more out of the way walk again!!

Hikes Sykes

More positive side effects of wanting to start the RFBR plan was that today in a bid for starting to increase my health and stamina ready for the 'proper thing' I really felt like getting out the house. Its a saturday, a day that drags slower than a dead turkey pinned to the back of a milk float.Th kids are always naggy and bored and it drives me nuts.. SO i announced we were going on a hike! Three very surprised kids (my two and my bf's daughter who stays fortnightly) were wondering where we going and why and what for. All of which recieved the answer of I dont know, we will just walk and explore and see what happens. Usually we just go to the local shop and back with the occassional 'treat' of the park, which is sooooo boring for me. So I felt pretty great as we set off.
The sky was that crisp blue. Bright enough to make you feel happy with that sharpness of cold that made you feel alive when you breathe it in. It was great. I took the buggy along as I expected the youngest aged 3 might struggle. I was surprised how unfit the other two were! Ten minutes into walking the moans of 'my legs are tired' started. But we went on and it was loads of fun. I even got us all running small distances. I was the worst for getting out of breath first followed by the 5yr old and the 8yr old done the best. The 3yr old mostly stayed in the buggy but its embarrassing to say even she can run faster than I!
We walked for an hour and ten mins which if I calculate according to the book is about 2 miles. I could have done more if the kids werent thirsty and tired. They flucuated between wanting to do more and saying they had energy only to be knackered the next. Even the 5yr old had a couple of rests inb the buggy.
All in all though I felt great that we had done it and I felt it bonded us much better than going to the park. There was a distant hill that they wanted to walk to and I have promised we will do that next time as we can bring drinks and be more prepared. Its very exciting and although I will enjoy being able to go further by myself when I start running properly I really enjoyed the kids company in exploring possible routes for myself.
The household def seemed more chilled out when we got back home and today we havent had the usual squabbles...yet. I feel pleased with myself and eager to do more and I felt the fresh air and endorphines have def made me happier and wanting to do more. I feel more energetic at home although right now (evening) I feel a numbness over my legs and my feet are a bit achy. But in a good way. I cant wait to chill out and go to bed tonight! Although because of my extra happiness and energy earlier I kinda made plans to P.a.R.t.Y tonight!